Dear Mama

Dear Mama
I can’t believe it has been a year since we last sat down to eat, share love and enjoy each other’s company. It has been a year since we all gathered to celebrate you as a mother and a grandmama. As I reflect on your birthday and your life, I can’t help but share a few of my favourite traits of you.
You see, growing up you didn’t fit the worlds definition of strength, you were far too kind, too forgiving, you gave the little you have easily, you cried easily and were humble to a fault. In fact some ignorant folks actually thought you were weak, you didn’t hold grudges and were so softly spoken, how could that be seen as strength?

Well fast forward a few decades, having had children of my own, having experienced life a little bit, and my definition of a strong person has completely changed. I now know that loudness doesn’t equate authority, shouty people are not necessary confident. The haughty may just be covering up inner insecurities and rudeness may be a sign of inner turmoil.

Your strength is in your ability to cry when you are overjoyed but also when you are sad, your humility is a sign of your gratitude to your maker, you are kind because of the security you have in God. All the things that may be seen as weaknesses are the very things that make you strong.
No wonder you are still full of beauty and vitality at this age, you have sown many seeds and we pray, the Lord graces you with many more years to enjoy the fruit of your labour.
As we celebrate you this year, it is our prayer that you continue to be quick on your kneesūüôŹ and carry on keeping your heart pure.
Happy birthday Mama, happy birthday grand Mama, 3 cheers to you.


The time of my life

Today as the clock moves back I reflect on time and our interpretation of it.
This year at our work conference the coach said something really important, he said next to God the other thing which is very constant is time. It has 24 hours in a day but we always seem to be surprised at the time when it is just doing what it is created to do? We say things like: is that the time? where did the time go? I don’t have any time for that and so on.
In England, the clock changes twice a year but even this inconsistency is also constant. However every year whether it moves forward or backwards we blame our lateness or earliness on this change.
Today as I watched clock go back, my thoughts are on my own consistency or lack of it.  I realise that my progress is not in the big moves but in the consistency of the little things.  Consistent  small savings works better for me than one time massive deposit, 5 mins constant quiet time is better  for my growth than an hour every few years, time is constantly moving and so must I.
I also reflect on the personal perspective of time, one day we were preparing to travel and I looked at the clock and went our dear this time seems to be flying, my son who was too excited to get on the plane went our dear how slow is the time going? Same clock we both looked at but from such different perspective, time was constant, it wasn’t going any slower or any faster. Our use of time rather determines how we experience its pace.

I don’t know what time means to you right now in your life but I hope the constant ticking of the clock will bring you some assurance or maybe just a reminder that you carry an assignment which is time bound.

for your consideration


Ready when you are!

Have you ever had a dream in which you were meant to do something or go somewhere amazing but missed out because you were a tad out of being ready? Don’t you just sigh a big relief when you finally wake up to see that it was a dream, you literally go phew. ¬†I had one of those dreams recently and although I was grateful it was only a dream, it set me pondering on preparing for more.

Preparation time can be quite frustrating, the time when it seems you put in much but only get little out, the time where your conquests seems to be in private but your failures are widely seen. It is a season where if we don’t take care we can take attention to detail for granted due to the lack of audience. Our integrity is either built up here or compromised at this stage.

When I woke up from my very scary dream, it reminded me of how important this time of my life is, in relation to my future version. It reminded me that before I can get more, I need to become more.  More in my  service, in my attitude, integrity, expectations and all other areas.  As we also say here at inside out, it is only in the day of reckoning that what is really inside of us will be showcased. What an honour it will be if it is worth celebrating but what a great let down if not much has gone in throughout our years of preparation.
It is said that champions are made in private and only outdoored on stage, before a boxer goes into the ring he spends hours training for what the audience will later pay to watch.
I know I struggle with the preparation period sometimes, but I have come to realise that there is no other way around it. For you to become that mega CEO, preacher, parent, partner or whatever, we need to have some time for training.

Don’t worry if it seems all you do is give, give and give with so little back. Building lasting relationships can take a while so is building a business or a ministry. Be encouraged however as it seems that the next stage of our journey is ready when we are !
For your consideration

A letter from Ruth

Dear friend
I hope this finds you well? I wanted to share with you and all others who might be feeling unqualified for some particular  roles:  whether parenthood, ministry or a new company.
I was the least qualified, wrong background, wrong family, wrong race by human standard but someway somehow I got chosen for the role. He chose me then began to train me, one lesson after the other and one provision after the other. It got tough sometimes, I questioned myself many times but He really knew what He was doing and later found out this is not unusual for Him. He taught me that His ways are not the ways of man, And that If He chooses you He will qualify you for the job.

I was the least qualified, I could barely handle my home affairs, but somehow I got chosen to be mum to these kids. I cried out and He gave me strength, one challenge at a time, from night feed to nappy change and  lessons learnt became treasured experience.
I Learnt that if one has a vision then He will give the provision.  The world system is so different, it can sometimes be confusing and intimidating. I hope this letter encourages you that although you may be unqualified by the world system, you are definitely not disqualified, hold on to your dreams. My advice is to concentrate on your heart as the inside of a thing is what holds the outside together.

I was the least qualified, didn’t know all the right scriptures, , I just had my story and my testimony. Somehow He saw something in me and my own testimony was apparently enough for Him to choose me. Every day was an opportunity to learn, every adversity carried a lesson. Every stage of the growth process was another testimony, not perfect by any standard. I ¬†still have my ups and down but I am learning to hand it over to Him. You may not be everyone’s choice but if He has chosen you, He will give you the message and the strength.

I hope this finds you and bring some comfort to you and others.
Ruth of Moab

For your consideration



What do u see in the picture above?
I have some floor tiles in my bathroom and sometimes I think I see a picture of a woman with a child, sometimes the same spot gives the impression of a man with a briefcase. Even though these are all illusions, they amuse me for a few seconds and I realise how real they sometimes look to me.  As with all illusions though, they never become a reality and the images seem to keep changing.
What is interesting though is that all these images must come from somewhere within my own imaginations. So when I go away from my bathroom those illusions are no longer there, I walk away with my imaginations as they are within me.
Coincidentally I watched the emoji movie with ¬†my¬†kids yesterday and there is one little emoji who could do more expressions than it has been labelled to do. ¬†And as society usually do, anything out of their definition is seen as unusual and not normal, this little emoji was seen as a malfunction and was chased out to be deleted. The story continues with the little guy traveling the ends of the phone world wanting to be reprogrammed to be corrected into an expressionless emoji.ūüėíMeh
It was only when he came to the end of his journey that he realised he quite like being different and that all those expression were ¬†within him and he didn’t need any extra programming.
It made me wonder what we will be able to achieve if we dare to look deep inside us and use our imaginations to the best of our ability. If we dare to be a little bit more adventurers with our talents and abilities.
Of course to even dare to go there we must be prepared to be seen as different, weird, not normal as defined by the soceity which is not always the easiest choice to make.
Illusions can never change to something real but for me it gives me an insight of the potential that we carry inside of us. What we think we see in our minds can be so powerful, it is almost as if we start seeing those images in reality.
There was a story I heard that was quite sad, legend have it there was once a man who bought a house in an area that had gold on the land, every morning he will go out in search of gold but never once looked close to his home. He died poor and alone, his house was sold and yeah you guessed the new owner found gold all around the house. The moral of the story being that we have to start looking from within us for the Lord placed treasure within us.

No wonder we believe in an inside out kind of living, as we keep working on our inside who knows what kind of treasure will eventually show on the outside?

for your consideration




I laid down on the sofa lost in my own thoughts, so wrapped up in my own pain, everything was on autopilot for me, I was in so much pain both physical and emotional that I felt like sinking. The past few weeks have been tough on my body, every possible fearful thought run through my mind and paralysed my body. I wanted to shut the world out, ignore the phone calls, isolate myself and just succumb to this frightful experience that in my opinion was eating me up.

Then I heard my phone ring, saw the name on the phone and was temped to let it keep ringing but this was such an unusual caller that I had to pick up. The voice on the other end was faint, hesitant and some how broken, she started to tell me something horrific that happened to her in her child hood. This happened over 10 years ago, I have actually known her some years now but she has never told me this incident. She never had the courage but she chose this moment when I wanted to hide from the world,  when I wanted to take a break for being any sort of light or strength for people, she chose this very perfect moment to disclose this to me.
She cried amidst this chat, her voice trailing off in her tears, in ending this call she said some words which translated to ‘I had to call because I look to you for some light in this my dark world. Deep down within me I was reminded of a verse that says, ¬†as the eyes of the maid look to her mistress so do our eyes look to you Lord.

Feeders ¬†are usually the last to eat, a mother will give to her child first but I have been reminded these last few days how important it is for feeders to look after themselves. ¬†Anything that runs on empty will eventually stop after screeching for a while‚ėļÔłŹ

Suddenly I didn’t want to hide anymore, I realised that although my light seems to be burning low from my end, people still needed that flicker of light, I got up and began in very small steps to fan the light. Sometimes the external music will stop but deep within us is the ability to create rhythm and make melodies.
When we are so weak and tempted to give up then it is the perfect time to look up to the heavens for some supernatural strength. The person following the torchbearer can decide to leave the run but the torch bearer cannot.

I am so thankful for that phone call that came to remind me of Whom to look to, for my strength. It is perfectly okay to take a break when your body needs it but to make a decision to hide based on fear is totally not acceptable in my quarters.
Therefore I learn to walk and possibly lead again shining the light within me, for although it  may burn low at times, I pray it never goes off.
Maybe you are going through some tough times yourself and your strength seems to dwindle but I came to remind you to look up to Him and take a break when needed.

For your consideration


Classic to Epic

Classic to Epic

As my daughter enters her teen years, it is only fitting that I reflect on a conversation my youngest boy had with me a few weeks ago.
They had been given a task in children service which involved designing a vehicle of some sort, when they came home my 7 year old was showing me the design for himself and his big brother.
These were the words he used, he said ‘ mummy my design is classic and Kurtis’ is epic ‘ he said this with some sadness and regret so I said to him but classic is very good’. To which he replied that although classic is good, epic is where he rather be. He went on to explain to me that his brother had added a lot of extras to his basic design to turn it into an epic design.

Basic instinct
Recently I was thinking of this conversation and realised how relevant that is to our lives, you see even in our faith, we are encouraged to add on to the basic,( salvation) knowledge, faith etc until we become epic. Whatever that comes naturally to us, whatever your talents or interest are, it is usually presented in the basic or to use my sons word classic form.  That’s what we call the  potential, it is our basic ability, our instinct,  then it is up to us to add on the extras, the skills to become epic.  Although classic is good and needs to be celebrated and used, we should not desire to stay here for ever, we should aim to add and build on theses skills to take it to the Epic level.

Let me paint you another picture, when we are building a house, the foundation is very important, a lot of work goes into, still it will be a surprise if someone were to pack their bags and move into the foundation with no building. Yes they may move into a caravan on the site but never into the open foundation, why? Because it is meant t to be added unto, to be turned into a roofed building at the least. A basic structure we can move in of a necessity, but usually with the view to add on to it in the near future.

Whatever that has been gifted to us, a good singing voice, a writing ability, a leadership potential, an ability to act, parenting, whatever it may be, we have the ability  to take it from Classic  to Epic.

Usually our basic inherent ability is gifted to us,either thorough DNA or just by devine orchestration but to take it to Epic, we need to put in some work. We need to study, we need to submit ourselves to learning. We need to invest time and resources and to remain teachable, adaptable so as to remain relevant . If we are gifted with children whether through biology or by virtue of our work and callings, then here too we have the responsibility to help nature them to discover their classic talents and help them take it to the Epic level. I say cheers to kiron for teaching me this lesson and
Happy  birthday to my daughter.

I celebrate with you too whatever the occasion may be, including those celebrating the life of a loved one that is no longer with us.
For your consideration