Calculated risk

Calculated risk
As I sat watching athletics with my kids, I learnt some interesting lessons that I want to share with you. It was a 3000 metres race, a seven and half laps around the field, however this girl was running like a sprint, true story after a lap or 2 around the field she quit the race. Then there was the other girl who stayed so behind that she never caught up with the group , she came last.
What did I learn about both girls, they both had a problem with balance, one took too much risk and the other took too little risk.
In pursuing our dreams and ideas we need to take some risks, how much risk though depends on our circumstances and the calculations we have made prior. If we take no risk we will rot in that situation we are dreaming of leaving, if we take too much risk we might end up quitting the race altogether, our family and friends might get sacrificed in the process.

There were a cluster of girls that run together, they had the previous winner in the midst, others run with the aim to overtake her and others just wanted to follow in her steps so they can still finish in a respectful position.
After 3000 metres running,  amidst cheers and fears, the results were announced with very few surprises, the sprint runner had a (d) by her name whilst the one who stayed at the back was last.
Lessons for me ( maybe you as well)
know my race: of course I can’t run a marathon like a sprint, neither can I run a sprint like a marathon. The nature of the idea/ dream will determine the how to the pace,  some may take longer behind the scenes  prep before  seeing  the outdoors.
Calculate my cost: there is always a cost involved, it might  be monetary, it might be time, it might relationship, I need to calculate the cost to the risk involved, too much risk might hurt my near and dear and no risk at all might hurt me and my dream.
When pursuing your dreams, sacrifices are required and this comes with risk, how  big though, is determined by the calculation we make and what or who we are willing to sacrifice.

The wisest man that ever lived writes in proverbs that before you build your house, prepare your land, calculate the cost, make preparation, so you can balance the cost out or at least try. Do you need to cut down your hours instead of quitting outright? You may need to save some more before you embark on that journey.

Thirdly,  not do it alone, I need to find those who have done it before and walk in their footsteps.  I also need people around me to spur me on and sometimes to challenge me to stay the course.

Are you chasing a dream of your own? I am a big believer in pursuing our  dreams, we cheer you on but we say take a calculated risk.

For your consideration


Beyond my imperfect


Beyond my imperfect

I walked along side my young friend, he had a shabby appearance, his stutter made it hard for him to explain himself, he is a loner, an outsider, he was perceived with suspicion ,he didn’t quite fit the stereotype. He began to tell me his dreams, he wanted to work in a kitchen, he had a dream of making some wonderful dishes , if only people could see beyond his external  limitations. If only he had the right words to describe his passion, his gifting felt trapped inside him, I watched him as he spoke about these dreams, then he goes sad because he can’t see how employers could see beyond his imperfect.

The few times I have been to the gym( I can count them on one hand), I have loved to use the treadmill, (don’t ask why) the first time was awkward, felt like I was definately going to fall down. The second time  was much better, I learnt to push through and looked beyond my seemingly fear of fitness and touched something within me, almost as if beyond my external tired self.


Our dreams and ideas can sometimes not make sense to people around us, the statistic may not be on our favour, all the external limitations may make us so not right for the job, but as long as we can push thought the mud and see beyond our imperfect, the world will catch up with us.

I learnt a valuable lesson though, the threat from society, the assumptions from the people in power, cannot override the dream within, it might delay it, it might frustrate it but as long as we can see beyond our own limitation and push through, that dream would be realised. Sometimes the body is frail but when the spirit is strong, one can survive  another round of hardships.

Thankfully my young friend met an employer who was willing to see beyond his imperfect and was willing to invest in this young person.
The outside is influential but the inside has the power to sustain our dreams, after all our beauty is from the real us which is way beyond our imperfect.

For your consideration


Perfectly prepared table

Prepared order

What I will define as  a perfectly set table might look completely different for yours, mine would have to have a few spicy dishes on the table and my friend Josie will definitely need a few selection of cakes. In the same way success to me might look nothing to some one else’s definition of success. Our preferences, dreams, idea, resources  will have something to say about our perfect situation. I use the word perfect cautiously and not in absolute terms. My dream Job maybe your worse nightmare but the common factor in all our dreams though is  the waiting period . Some longer than others, depending  on variety of  factors including resources available, how ambitious the dream is and our own personal abilities.

the waiting period

Have you ever waited so long for your order to be ready at a restaurant that you had to leave ?I remember once ordering steak with the option of having it very well done. it took forever 😊 It even looked like the people on the  table next to me who gave their order after me still got served before me. Suffice it to say that when our order was finally complete and delivered it, it was worth the wait. The thing  is the guy on the next table may have just ordered an omelette, of course he will definitely get served quicker but might go hungry again by the time my steak is delivered. 😃 Sometimes in life it seems to us that everyone is getting their due before us. Their ministry seems to  be growing quicker, that other family seems to be doing better quicker even when it seems you try harder. My restaurant experience taught me that, my waiting time could be dependant on what is on my order.



It almost as if you get the  starter , then it takes forever for the main meal to be delivered. What do you do when the initial buzz has died down and it looks like you are waiting  along time for something great to happen? Waiting for that  job, business, ministry, relationship etc to take off could be hard going, the enthusiasm that got it all started might have slowed right down and it could seem that we are waiting a life time to be served. You see there are some things we have control of and there are others that we just have to wait for the the one preparing to get on with it.

Well I will tell you what we did whilst waiting for our main meal, we had a laugh, we enjoyed each other’s company, we spoke about the future, we laughed about some past mistakes, we looked forward to our main meal coming in . When we just sit around for that growth, that increase, that promotion, we might  get tired and give up, but if we are active in our waiting, we take time to celebrate with others, we enjoy our family and the people in our lives , when we are grateful for what we have had already,  (starter) and look forward to what we are about to have, (main meal) then we can rejoice even in our waiting. After all  deserts are usually the cherry on the whole experience. So the table may not be perfect but the preparation would have been perfectly planned.

For your consideration.




The whole picture

Purpose is defined as the reason for which something is done or created.
If you have never asked yourself the question why you are here on earth,  then you maybe one of the very few. We ask, we read , we answer some questionnnare, psychometric tests  just to find out what we are made to excell in this life.
Any time I watch a gifted singer I ask myself, is there something else that I can do better than how they are singing?

I remember when I was a teenager, I was very curious about my brother and what he gets up to when he is out and about. I adored him and thought, (still think) that he was the most  coolest guy. 😄  I was super excited to get hold of his diary one day,  so I sat down to devour the sacred pages of this mysterious guy,  turned a page and it read’ Thursday comes before Friday’. Whaat? I knew what Thursday meant, I knew about Friday, I even knew that Thursday came before Friday but still I was struggling with the sentence. 😂I tell this story to illustrate the mystery of the purpose of life. sometimes we have pieces of the information but to get the full story we need to speak to the one who wrote our put the whole story together. 

Eventually my brother explained to me what that meant, it was his birthday before that of his special friend at that time , hers was on Thursday and his was on a Friday. Mystery solved, I learnt an important lesson that day, there is meaning to my life and although I may not understand fully, there is a reason why I like some things that others see as a bother, why Iam shaped a certain way, why I belong to a particular family. The writer of the mystery of my life has the full picture and hopefully I get to explore fully the coded purpose of my life.

The simple mystery
However even from the story of my brother’s dairy above, I was expecting some mysterious revelation to what that meant, also in life we sometimes stop ourselves from moving forward, with our ideas and dreams all because we are waiting for some mystery to be revealed.
Well I don’t think any mystical truth is there other than what the Creator has put in our hearts, in the shape of our likes, our burdens, our experiences and just what excites us.  Go on and explore that desire, that dream , that idea, it might just be the solution to the mystery of life.


Many years later, I still adore my brother, Iam still fascinated by him, still ask him about his life and guess what Thursday still comes before Friday .
For your consideration



That seat is taken

That seat is taken
Have you gone to sit down on a chair and suddenly you hear these words ‘ sorry that seat is taken’ clearly there was no one sitting on it otherwise you wouldn’t have made the attempt at all. Sometimes on the trains you actually sit down, either because you didn’t see the reserve sign or you were hoping the person wasn’t coming at all.  Suddenly before you realise there is somebody standing there with some sort of grin/ smile just looking at you with the words ‘ that seat is taken’.
It might just be me but i have come across that many times in life.

That job that you thought was definitely yours, that promotion that you have been preparing for, sometimes it feels like you were just warming the seat for someone to come and occupy. You are not quite sure what happened, did you miss the reserved sign or were you just keeping watch until the right person appeared? I have some very well meaning people in my life and recently when a seat suddenly wasn’t available anymore, there were all sorts of reaction and advice, someone even said you have to kick off. That sounded very tempting, I wanted to throw a big tantrum but upon reflection chose not to go that way. Firstly because it will not be a pretty sight and secondly because I believe there is a seat somewhere with my name on it reserved just for me.

You see where I come from, I have seen people carry their chairs from home to the school just so they can have an education. I have also seen the ones that have made a seat of the concrete floor, a piece of wood,  a brick, anything that has supported their tired legs in order to better themselves.
Do not worry when some opportunities elude you through no fault of yours. Keep trying, keep asking and if for a short time you have to make do with some uncomfortable tools as a chair, then do it with style. What you mustn’t do though is to become so used to the temporary position of insufficiency that you make it your destination. Don’t choose to sit on the floor when there is a chair available  with your name on it , reserved  just for you, don’t get use to being so disappointed that you stop expecting growth / better opportunities.
I am beginning to learn that we are stronger than we think and it is only in these circumstance that we catch a a glimpse of what is on the inside of us. If all opportunities are removed then me may have to create our own. After all, there are people are sitting in comfy chair but still have a bad back.
If that relationship hasn’t worked, cry, laugh scream , throw , do whatever you need to do to express your disappointment but let it be temporary, in a little bit dry your tears, square your shoulders, lift your head high and ask ‘ is this seat taken?’
For your consideration

My shorts seemed like trousers (standards)

What a strange title I hear you say, but there is a story behind this which my friend Josie knows too well. Many years ago my cousin invited me to go to a club ( disco) with him, this conversation took place before we went, I am not even sure he remembers but I never forgot it. I decided to wear shorts that evening, well it was quite a long pair of shorts, my cousin looked at me and said ‘ by the time we get to the club this shorts would become trousers’ what he meant was due to how short( hot pants) the other girls shorts will be, in comparison mine would look like trousers. 🙂
This post is looking at standard by which we measure behaviour, attitudes  and success even. You see in a place where there is abundance of immorality, even bad begins to look good in comparison. When everyone around you is not in employment even a low paid job becomes a dream and the standard to beat.
In total darkness a simple match appears very bright but put it in amidst of light bulbs and it doesn’t shine that bright anymore. Different strengths, different variable, different opportunities usually means that the field of play is uneven for comparison.
My shorts only seemed longer because it was being compared to even shorter shorts.

I am all for aspiration which I believe comes with exposure but being inspired to aspire doesn’t mean that a particle scenario or person now becomes the universal standard of operation. Equally if we see ourselves through lower standards we may appear perfect in our own eyes and become complacent. For example I cannot suddenly become ok with stealing from the shops as compared to stealing from individual, yep I have heard that one before.
So what am I saying? I think if we need to use any standards, it has to encompass what we believe we were created to be, the opportunities that are available to us, our abilities, our resources etc etc. In that  way, we will always strive to become better versions of ourselves and not somebody else. We will encourage the next generation to aspire for better communities, whether that be in showing respect to themselves ( their bodies) adults, taking pride in their surroundings, looking after their physical health and believing that they are able to get more out of life.
In life when we use too high a standard to compare ourselves we become critical, likewise if we use too low a standard we become complacent or even conceited.
Let me finish by telling you a biblical story, so an investor called 3 people , he gave one person 1 opportunity, he gave another 2 opportunities and then the third person 5 opportunities. He then went away for a long time, he then came back to check on his investment. He returned to find that whilst the other 2 had evidence of progress with their opportunities, the guy that had 1 opportunity had simply not used it at all, he  had forgotten that they had different fields to play on and therefore different results were expected, he had compared himself to the guy with 5 opportunities and has come up short, he has become critical and frozen, he has wasted his one opportunity.
There is a lane for me, and that should be where my concentration would be, trying to achieve the highest standard in that field. Concentrate and complement rather that compare and criticise.
For your consideration






I have always been fascinated by people who are influential in soceity, the royals, celebrities, politicians, employers and so on and so forth. But I want to talk about different kind of influential people today, our fathers: these men have such strong impact on the lives of children either being there or even when absent.
My own father in my opinion is strict, he is very meticulous, growing up I thought my dad is no fun at all, what I couldnt fault though was how serious he took our education. He worked hard to be able to provide for us, he kept us safe and gave a roof over our heads. Well his character must have influenced me so much that I married a man who has very similar traits.😀I know other women who  have gone the opposite way with partners due to not having a great childhood themselves. So which ever you look at it, fathers influence our choices whether good or bad.
I see how my kids watch their dad, how my daughter leans on his shoulder, how my sons hold his  hands when we are out and about. They see him as a protector and a provider, he is shaping their choices whether they realise it or not.

In my adult life  though I have come across a different kind of fathers who have made and are still making such impact in society. They fight injustice, they feed the poor, the share the good news, they become corporate dads to many people both young and old. For me an influential person is that one  man who uses what ever opportunities that he has, and provide solutions and answers to his community. Whether looking after One person or a whole city or even a country, the do their best.
There is the word man found in the word many, it takes the letter Y to make all the difference. so it is on life , the most important part of influence is the 1 man, he who makes up his mind to use whatever talents, resources, opportunities he has to better himself and his community. It might be just be his immediate family, It might be the larger community or it might be the world. None of these is bigger or better in my opinion, in the books of the heroes we will say that, there goes the man that used his opportunities to make the world a little better than he found it.

They travel far and near to pick their kids up from school, they take them for extra activities, some of them seek medical/ mental help to get better so they can be there for their kids. I even know quite a few who will go through the legal system just so they can stay in their lives.
I know so may of those men and Iam sure you do too, Pass this on to some fathers you know, whether it be biological or otherwise. I just did.
For your consideration