That seat is taken

That seat is taken
Have you gone to sit down on a chair and suddenly you hear these words ‘ sorry that seat is taken’ clearly there was no one sitting on it otherwise you wouldn’t have made the attempt at all. Sometimes on the trains you actually sit down, either because you didn’t see the reserve sign or you were hoping the person wasn’t coming at all.  Suddenly before you realise there is somebody standing there with some sort of grin/ smile just looking at you with the words ‘ that seat is taken’.
It might just be me but i have come across that many times in life.

That job that you thought was definitely yours, that promotion that you have been preparing for, sometimes it feels like you were just warming the seat for someone to come and occupy. You are not quite sure what happened, did you miss the reserved sign or were you just keeping watch until the right person appeared? I have some very well meaning people in my life and recently when a seat suddenly wasn’t available anymore, there were all sorts of reaction and advice, someone even said you have to kick off. That sounded very tempting, I wanted to throw a big tantrum but upon reflection chose not to go that way. Firstly because it will not be a pretty sight and secondly because I believe there is a seat somewhere with my name on it reserved just for me.

You see where I come from, I have seen people carry their chairs from home to the school just so they can have an education. I have also seen the ones that have made a seat of the concrete floor, a piece of wood,  a brick, anything that has supported their tired legs in order to better themselves.
Do not worry when some opportunities elude you through no fault of yours. Keep trying, keep asking and if for a short time you have to make do with some uncomfortable tools as a chair, then do it with style. What you mustn’t do though is to become so used to the temporary position of insufficiency that you make it your destination. Don’t choose to sit on the floor when there is a chair available  with your name on it , reserved  just for you, don’t get use to being so disappointed that you stop expecting growth / better opportunities.
I am beginning to learn that we are stronger than we think and it is only in these circumstance that we catch a a glimpse of what is on the inside of us. If all opportunities are removed then me may have to create our own. After all, there are people are sitting in comfy chair but still have a bad back.
If that relationship hasn’t worked, cry, laugh scream , throw , do whatever you need to do to express your disappointment but let it be temporary, in a little bit dry your tears, square your shoulders, lift your head high and ask ‘ is this seat taken?’
For your consideration


A warm welcome 

This is the post excerpt.

Welcome to my blog.

Iam  a  wife, mum of 3 kids, an employee, a fan of Christ inside out kinda girl.

Iam on a journey to explore what Iam made of, hopeful all the work that is happening on the inside will start showing on the outside.

My journey at the moment is like a building that has scaffolding all around it, outsiders really don’t know how it looks like untill all the scaffolding is removed.

Building sites are by nature messy and chaotic but all being equal the results is worth the process.

Come with me if you are on a journey yourself.




Reflection/ deflection
My son is a true reflection of his dad not just in looks but in attitude too😉
This week I have been thinking about how what we believe about ourselves reflect how we relate to others.
If we were blessed to have parents and adults who instilled positive traits in us , we are Likely to grow up confident and able to see good in people. However if we have grown up with so much negativity around us and believed them, we rehearse them and eventually confess that ‘ what we feared most has come upon us. Usually someone said something unkind to us and we believed it and started saying it to ourselves, we say things like ‘Iam so forgetful, Iam so clumsy etc.

Then we have the things we hide from, our childhood fears, we start hearing people saying it about us. We use other people to express what we may be saying to our selves in secret, we become paranoid that people are judging us , they are talking about us, we start in fact to put words in peoples mouth. We keep trying to convince others that we know what they are thinking about us and we are nothing like that. This affects our attitude and our ambition which may cause us to live in mediocrity concluding that people will not receive us or take us seriously.

This can become even worse when we start pointing fingers at people to deflect attention from us, we start plotting against people because we are almost certain they have evil intentions against us. We want to get them before they get us, we suspect every one against us and we can’t trust anyone, We live in fear and sometimes in isolation.

Some of these may sound extreme and far fetched but there are things we need to confront and challenge in order to conquer them.
Sometimes we meet people who just see the good in others, they encourage us to aim for the sky, they have such positive energy around , they reflect what they believe about themselves.

Sometimes we meet others who seem so unhappy, they are suspicious of others, I remember being in a group with a particular woman, she used to say’ the people are not happy, they are saying this and that, eventually it became Apparent that her ‘they’ was her own voice.

As part of the inside out movement we are challenging ourselves to check what our private narration is, what we believe and what we rehearse about ourselves. We know this will eventually become our confession and our attitude towards our family and community.


for your consideration


Grandma’s green stew

My daughter loves my mum’s okro stew or as she calls it, green stew, it’s her favourite food anytime we visit her. So when She saw me trying to replicate it in my kitchen, she got very excited, even though she kept calling it grandmas. Well let’s just say she was not very impressed that mine didn’t taste exactly like grandma’s, infact it is safe to conclude that she was disappointed😐  A few weeks down the line, she tries to help her little brother with something and he says to her’ No I don’t want you to help me because you don’t know how to do it the mummy way😀. Oh that just tickled me and I felt vindicated, I also have my something.
Anyway the point Iam trying to make is that we  are all writing our  stories, leaving a legacy for our kids whether intentional or just by our deeds. When I was young I used to think the physical inheritance was the most important, what was left for us was the only thing worth having but I now know that what is left in us is even more important.
It has been a while since I wrote anything but today being Mother’s Day here in the U.K. It was only proper to write about my mummy’s green stew. The thing with legacy is that if you are not intentional about it, something will be left in your name, you may just not like it. We must as well be intentional about what we leave the next generation first in our homes and then in our community.
A father instructs but a mother teaches: happy Mother’s Day to all our uk readers.
For your consideration


I think Disney writers are the most perspective prophetic people around😊
We all remember frozen fever and how it caught most of our kids and some of us parents’ attention.
We were mesmerized by the girl who had all that power inside and her family who didn’t quite know how to help her handle it. We enjoyed the movie for a season in and then moved  on the next thing, or did we?
In some ways we are more similar to Elsa than we care to think, most of us carry amazing supernatural blessing/abilities within us but how to use it wisely and safely is what we struggle with.
We have giftings that is designed to meet needs around us, when our talents collide with these needs, there is an explosion of joy.
However getting to this point takes a lot of moulding, this is a journey with a lot of twists and turns, a lot of resistance and challenges.
A lot of breaking and making, so we sometimes take the option of concealing it and leaving in a frozen state filled with fear . On the other hand some of us refuse the breaking and moulding and let the gift control us and hurt people around us.
So in pursuing our inner abilities, we can choose to conceal and live in fear, we can let the gift control us which leads to destruction. Or we can give in to the one who can mould and shape us to use our gifts in a way to meet the needs around us. So next time you watch frozen, see the lessons and check for similar situations maybe around you or even inside of you.
This year we choose to unfreeze and accept the challenge of being broken and then being remade.
For your consideration

Designer Labels 

Designer labels
The other week my friend was sharing with us how someone innocently asked why she has another persons name on her very nice purse. You see my friend was very proud of her designer labelled purse she had received for Christmas and she was happily  showing it off, this girl was wondering why it has someone else’s ( the designer) name on it? Of course we all laughed at the naivety of that question but it made me wonder why we so proudly carry or wear items with other people’s  names on?

Designer labels are desirable to some of us, most of them are usually out of our price range but we still admire them and of course the more distinguished the designer, the higher the price tag. These are usually people well known in their field and has gotten through a lot of  hard work and a period of exposure.

My little sister recently started exploring her love for cameras and photography, she now has her own name on the photos she takes, it just encourages me to dream that maybe there is something just waiting to have my name on it.
It reminds me of a verse in the bible which says ‘a mans gift will open doors for him. I believe that if we are willing to explore our area of love, abilities and talents, there are opportunities to grow. Then it is only a matter of time before we have our own names on a song, a book, a charity, a church , a home, some food, whatever we have been blessed with.

This new year as we go about our business may we take time out some time to ask the question ‘what is it that is waiting to have my name on?  Of course  not all of us will become labels on handbags or clothing but we can all do our little bit to make impact in our families and communities.

This is our question for you this year, has it got your name on it? We may be pursuing things that has someone else’s name on it and leaving our own labels lying fallow, so before you go any further ask yourself if it has your name on it.
For your consideration


Whichever way you are crossing over, we wanted to wish you a great evening and an expectant 2018.

we thank you for your readership and your encouragement.

your support has made all the difference.

crossing over for you might mean starting all over again but it might also mean you are preaparing to move to the next level.

Which ever say it is for you, we wish you well and let’s have a great 2018

from all of us at insideout

happy new year


Giving to give

Giving to give
A mothers love to her daughter is unconditional, she gives to her without coercion, well usually ☺️
This is the season of giving, so it is only right for us to tackle the subject inside out style 😄. I have seen all sorts of giving, those given out of love and those giving out of obligation. As I watch people rush to buy and receive gifts they probably will never use, from  people they don’t usually get along with, I asked my self the question , why?
Don’t get me wrong I love receiving gifts and giving as well but now I start to examine my intentions more closely, it doesn’t seem so noble sometimes.
I wonder if we sometimes give to receive? Calculating and targeting who to give to receive back? After all it can be quite annoying to keep giving to people who never seem to bother, this could be with our time, our attention or even in presents. There are some who seem to be professional takers, always checking to see what will benefit them.
In all the busyness  and overspending, there are a group of people who are simply giving to give, they are not expecting anything back. They are giving their time and resources to the less privileged in society, if there be any reward, it is deeply inherent satisfaction. By virtue of my work I see these people all the time, dropping in to give to people their resources, thier skill and their time.
The most precious gift I have seen though is in giving people your full attention, not to quickly offer our opinion but simply to listen. This all though seemingly a simple thing,  is not that easy to do, as we work through responses when listening.
The challenge is to find someone this season to completely give without any strings attached, let’s give our time, our attention and if possible our presents to a person or people that may not even give us a thank you back. Chances are we will get a thank u but let’s not expect it from this one person or people, let us aim to give just to give.
For your consideration