That seat is taken

That seat is taken
Have you gone to sit down on a chair and suddenly you hear these words ‘ sorry that seat is taken’ clearly there was no one sitting on it otherwise you wouldn’t have made the attempt at all. Sometimes on the trains you actually sit down, either because you didn’t see the reserve sign or you were hoping the person wasn’t coming at all.  Suddenly before you realise there is somebody standing there with some sort of grin/ smile just looking at you with the words ‘ that seat is taken’.
It might just be me but i have come across that many times in life.

That job that you thought was definitely yours, that promotion that you have been preparing for, sometimes it feels like you were just warming the seat for someone to come and occupy. You are not quite sure what happened, did you miss the reserved sign or were you just keeping watch until the right person appeared? I have some very well meaning people in my life and recently when a seat suddenly wasn’t available anymore, there were all sorts of reaction and advice, someone even said you have to kick off. That sounded very tempting, I wanted to throw a big tantrum but upon reflection chose not to go that way. Firstly because it will not be a pretty sight and secondly because I believe there is a seat somewhere with my name on it reserved just for me.

You see where I come from, I have seen people carry their chairs from home to the school just so they can have an education. I have also seen the ones that have made a seat of the concrete floor, a piece of wood,  a brick, anything that has supported their tired legs in order to better themselves.
Do not worry when some opportunities elude you through no fault of yours. Keep trying, keep asking and if for a short time you have to make do with some uncomfortable tools as a chair, then do it with style. What you mustn’t do though is to become so used to the temporary position of insufficiency that you make it your destination. Don’t choose to sit on the floor when there is a chair available  with your name on it , reserved  just for you, don’t get use to being so disappointed that you stop expecting growth / better opportunities.
I am beginning to learn that we are stronger than we think and it is only in these circumstance that we catch a a glimpse of what is on the inside of us. If all opportunities are removed then me may have to create our own. After all, there are people are sitting in comfy chair but still have a bad back.
If that relationship hasn’t worked, cry, laugh scream , throw , do whatever you need to do to express your disappointment but let it be temporary, in a little bit dry your tears, square your shoulders, lift your head high and ask ‘ is this seat taken?’
For your consideration


A warm welcome 

This is the post excerpt.

Welcome to my blog.

Iam  a  wife, mum of 3 kids, an employee, a fan of Christ inside out kinda girl.

Iam on a journey to explore what Iam made of, hopeful all the work that is happening on the inside will start showing on the outside.

My journey at the moment is like a building that has scaffolding all around it, outsiders really don’t know how it looks like untill all the scaffolding is removed.

Building sites are by nature messy and chaotic but all being equal the results is worth the process.

Come with me if you are on a journey yourself.



The corridors of life

A corridor is defined as a long passage in a building from which doors lead into rooms.
I don’t know about you but sometimes my life seems to be full of these corridors. In this post a corridor is used to mean a time of transition, the time that we seem to be walking but not quite at the door yet.

Some of these corridors are wide and busy, other people are going the same way or close to where we are going. We can form relationships in this kind of corridor, we may not feel the pressure of the waiting time depending on the kind of friendships we form. An example of this kind is university/college/training time: we are have been blessed enough to walk through the doors of admission and enter into the wide corridor of training time.

Sometimes and most often we walk these corridor alone, they seem long and unending, unproductive in the short term. Some of these are necessary for us to walk to get to a particular door for a particular assignment. These transitional/waiting periods can be lonely, u can sometimes hear the echoe of your own footsteps, it can be boring as lots of routine work is done here.
There is a semblance of the biblical waiting in these corridors, for although u are walking, it seems you have nothing to show for it.


But cheer up, I hear you say😀, there is room for development in this time, we build muscles from the walking .We learn to be in touch with our inner self in the quiet periods and hopefully build on our integrity: to do the right thing when no one is watching.
Yes corridors! They are everywhere, in marriages, in career, in ministry  work and in business. How we walk these long passageway makes a massive contribution to how we enter and stay in a particular room.

Relationships matter in these quiet periods, who you let in and who you kick out have an impact on the story of your life.
Yes corridors! u can have a rest in them, you can walk briskly in them or like my sister above pose for some photos😀
Maybe you can take a new approach to the waiting times in your own life just look at them as the necessary corridors that lead to the that door.
For your consideration

No to a huff and a puff

my sister’s stance above seems to say, i am standing my ground. 😁

Events over the past week have brought me to the point of needing to put some thoughts down. Insideout is usually a platform for lessons learnt from every day events. By Virtue of maternity leave, I bring you hours of research from baby tv and the very sophisticated world of nursery rhymes.

The three little pigs is a famous nursery rhyme where the big bad wolf ends up eating 2 of the pigs, because they built their homes with hay and stick. Well I like this particular version on abc kids tv as the wolf doesn’t get to eat the little pigs, although he blows their houses down with a huff and a puff.

The lesson in the rhyme is usually to encourage us to work harder and not just take the easy way out, but I want to share my lesson from a different perspective.
I was particularly captivated by the bad wolf and his methods. Staying true to his MO, he comes in the same intimidating way! He blows on the weak parts until we are exposed as our cover is blown. We then become so frozen with fear and he is able to consume us. Not on this occasion, for the little pig runs straight to his other brother’s house!
A lesson for me: although my own brick house may not be ready, I may know someone that is better and stronger in their faith, in their career or perhaps doing better in relationships than I might be. There is no shame in asking for support from the right place or speaking to the right people who can help steer us in the right direction.
The big bad wolf may be represented in many forms: toxic relationships, mental torture and anxiety, career breakdown, etc. For me I realize that when something unexpected happens, I suddenly become anxious about my abilities and giftings. I start doubting my self worth and blaming myself unnecessarily.
If U have a gift to give and someone rejects it, it does not necessarily mean that you are not good enough. It could be that they are not good enough to receive that gift! It could also be that it is not their time to receive it after all your gift is not for everyone! Fear and doubt make us read into actions negatively and if we are not careful, mental torture ensues.
Well as we are getting into the colder months, we wanted to remind you that, although trouble may knock at your door, may even blow your cover down, don’t give up yet; for there may be one more fight within you.
We may be very strong in our career but we might need some work in our relationships. Whatever it is that falls to the huff and a puff from the wolf, can be worked on with bricks thrown at us by life.
As we take our time to build ourselves up, there is no promise that challenges won’t come, but we can be sure our brick house will not easily fall to a huff and a puff.

For your help consideration



Today our pastor spoke about the unlikely choice, and it reminded me of the Cinderella story. David, in my opinion was one of such stories.
When the kingmakers went to his home to find a king, all his other brothers were presented in their finery, David however was at the farm looking after his fathers sheep.

By all outward appearance the brothers were more qualified than him, they were older, taller, bigger and looked more appropriate to be kings. However they were not the chosen ones, if that is not a Cinderella story then I don’t know what is.

We heard how the kingmakers and the parents presented the others and allowed them to try the proverbial glass shoe but that opportunity was denied David. He didn’t look like the typical potential king, he was probably untidy from working on the farm, he just didn’t fit man’s specification of a king.

I am sharing this here to remind all insideouters that we may not be what people expect, we may be the wrong gender, age, race, accent etc but don’t get discouraged because it still might be you who wears the crown.

They may refer to you as being unusual, unique, weird, different and so on but maybe that is not such a bad thing, the most important thing is having a good heart and being true to ourselves. David had all his experience from looking after the family’s sheep, it was during this time off camera that he got noticed and chosen.

If you are serving behind the scenes currently, be encouraged to give it your best shot. Who knows who might be watching? When the kingmakers come with the glass shoe, although you may not be present, people will come looking for you as no other foot will fit what has been made with you in mind.

As you go through this week, don’t discount yourself from that management position, that pulpit, that partnership, that marriage because all though you may not qualify on the outside, you may be just the right person on the inside. Let us remain true to ourselves no matter how different that may seem because being different is the best way to fit in.

For your consideration

The last call


It has been a while since I wrote anything, in the time I have been away, I have said goodbye to a dear friend and also said hello to another child. Today I want to share the lessons I learnt from the last conversation I had with my friend who has gone to be with the Lord and next time I will share my welcome news.
You see my friend and I had this relationship where we could go years without speaking, not because of any issue but because of the busyness of life. We made sure we connected on birthdays so I was surprised when I saw her ringing me a few weeks after her birthday. I couldn’t answer her call but she called again and followed with a text to say “afua ring me when you are free’. Well am I glad that I rung her as she passed away a few weeks after that phone call.


The gift of life, when we have the opportunity to be alive, we need to celebrate everyday. After I heard of my friend’s death, I went back on my phone to read again every message we sent each other, I went through our last conversation, trying to remember it word for word. Let’s appreciate people in our lives, let’s give attention to people when they are talking to us, someday we may need to remember what they said to us.

Our telephone conversation started with us not being in agreement, my friend had some opinion that differed from mine, she had always had strong views so we disagreed on some issues but like true friends do, we ended the call on a very mutual note, we both agreed that we could do better in keeping relationships. We realised that sometimes we get so self-bsorbed and forget the world around us.

Another memory from that last call was that my friend had chosen what was most important: her relationship with her Saviour. This gives me much joy and much hope, that there is eternity after this life and where we end up after here is really what matters.

Finally my dear friend left me with this lesson that whatever we have doing, business, family, ministry, we need to start today because tomorrow may never come.
This is to you my dear friend Akua Nyarko Opoku, you lived and left your mark in our hearts. I celebrate your life and I ask that you rest well as you go on to be with your maker.

Goodbye till we meet again

For your consideration



Reflection/ deflection
My son is a true reflection of his dad not just in looks but in attitude too😉
This week I have been thinking about how what we believe about ourselves reflect how we relate to others.
If we were blessed to have parents and adults who instilled positive traits in us , we are Likely to grow up confident and able to see good in people. However if we have grown up with so much negativity around us and believed them, we rehearse them and eventually confess that ‘ what we feared most has come upon us. Usually someone said something unkind to us and we believed it and started saying it to ourselves, we say things like ‘Iam so forgetful, Iam so clumsy etc.

Then we have the things we hide from, our childhood fears, we start hearing people saying it about us. We use other people to express what we may be saying to our selves in secret, we become paranoid that people are judging us , they are talking about us, we start in fact to put words in peoples mouth. We keep trying to convince others that we know what they are thinking about us and we are nothing like that. This affects our attitude and our ambition which may cause us to live in mediocrity concluding that people will not receive us or take us seriously.

This can become even worse when we start pointing fingers at people to deflect attention from us, we start plotting against people because we are almost certain they have evil intentions against us. We want to get them before they get us, we suspect every one against us and we can’t trust anyone, We live in fear and sometimes in isolation.

Some of these may sound extreme and far fetched but there are things we need to confront and challenge in order to conquer them.
Sometimes we meet people who just see the good in others, they encourage us to aim for the sky, they have such positive energy around , they reflect what they believe about themselves.

Sometimes we meet others who seem so unhappy, they are suspicious of others, I remember being in a group with a particular woman, she used to say’ the people are not happy, they are saying this and that, eventually it became Apparent that her ‘they’ was her own voice.

As part of the inside out movement we are challenging ourselves to check what our private narration is, what we believe and what we rehearse about ourselves. We know this will eventually become our confession and our attitude towards our family and community.


for your consideration


Grandma’s green stew

My daughter loves my mum’s okro stew or as she calls it, green stew, it’s her favourite food anytime we visit her. So when She saw me trying to replicate it in my kitchen, she got very excited, even though she kept calling it grandmas. Well let’s just say she was not very impressed that mine didn’t taste exactly like grandma’s, infact it is safe to conclude that she was disappointed😐  A few weeks down the line, she tries to help her little brother with something and he says to her’ No I don’t want you to help me because you don’t know how to do it the mummy way😀. Oh that just tickled me and I felt vindicated, I also have my something.
Anyway the point Iam trying to make is that we  are all writing our  stories, leaving a legacy for our kids whether intentional or just by our deeds. When I was young I used to think the physical inheritance was the most important, what was left for us was the only thing worth having but I now know that what is left in us is even more important.
It has been a while since I wrote anything but today being Mother’s Day here in the U.K. It was only proper to write about my mummy’s green stew. The thing with legacy is that if you are not intentional about it, something will be left in your name, you may just not like it. We must as well be intentional about what we leave the next generation first in our homes and then in our community.
A father instructs but a mother teaches: happy Mother’s Day to all our uk readers.
For your consideration